I don't even need to blog...because David already did it for me in Psalm 13. This is why God included the Psalms in the bible. It helps us know we're not alone because followers of Jesus Christ in the past have felt the same way we do. I think this was the start of "journaling" as part of the Christian walk.
How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?
How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
and every day have sorrow in my heart?
How long will my enemy triumph over me?
Look on me and answer, O Lord my God.
Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death;
my enemy will say "I have overcome him,"
and my foes will rejoice when I fall.
But I trust in your unfailing love;
my heart rejoices in your salvation.
I will sing to the Lord,
for he has been good to me.
I don't need to say anymore. This is my life in a nutshell right now.
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Thursday, June 12, 2008
"He can now walk away from these mountains onto the road towards tomorrow"
Wow. please, please watch this. It reminds me of how I should be living my life daily.
http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/world/2008/06/10/lah.japan.suicide.cliff.cnn
My job is fantastic & it's probably the best way I could ever earn money. & my boss is pretty much awesome. It sucks to not have a life, but I just remind myself that I make like $360 a week and I'm pretty content. I need to use the money for plane tickets home during the next year, and to buy stuff for school. I need to buy a lot, so I'm really hoping that I have enough for all the times I'm coming home! I like feeling on top of things. I have a lot more to blog about later. I hope everyone's having a great summer so far!
http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/world/2008/06/10/lah.japan.suicide.cliff.cnn
My job is fantastic & it's probably the best way I could ever earn money. & my boss is pretty much awesome. It sucks to not have a life, but I just remind myself that I make like $360 a week and I'm pretty content. I need to use the money for plane tickets home during the next year, and to buy stuff for school. I need to buy a lot, so I'm really hoping that I have enough for all the times I'm coming home! I like feeling on top of things. I have a lot more to blog about later. I hope everyone's having a great summer so far!
Saturday, June 7, 2008
Graduation
So I graduate today. & I can't even tell you how incredibly anxious I am. I used to think that graduation was going to take FOREVER to get to. But now it's literally tonight. I'm so scared for what it entails. I wasn't going to let myself think about what the ceremony means, but I can't help the inevitable. I don't think high school graduation is much of an accomplishment, but it's really scary. This phase in my life is the hardest and most different yet. I know I relate to a lot of people right now, but none of us know how to deal with it.
I'm still not talking to God much, & it's starting to annoy me now. I've simply just been existing, and I know that's not the way to live. I'm so empty & so anxious. I feel worthless. & if I'm not living with a purpose, I pretty much am worthless right now.
My blog will mainly be intended for writing about the hard stuff going on in my life, and accomplishments too. Comments aren't necessary, so don't feel like you need to say something. Thanks for reading if you do.
I'm still not talking to God much, & it's starting to annoy me now. I've simply just been existing, and I know that's not the way to live. I'm so empty & so anxious. I feel worthless. & if I'm not living with a purpose, I pretty much am worthless right now.
My blog will mainly be intended for writing about the hard stuff going on in my life, and accomplishments too. Comments aren't necessary, so don't feel like you need to say something. Thanks for reading if you do.
Thursday, May 29, 2008
I don't even know
There's so much on my mind right now...I'm not even sure how to put it into words. But I feel like something big is going to happen soon. & It's really necessary for something to happen.
About 2 weeks ago, I was really struggling with something. It paralyzed me for about a week and a half, and then it just seemed to go away. There wasn't an actual resolution, and I'm still not on the same page with God. I haven't talked to Him much at all. All in all, there was no resolution to one of the biggest struggles i've had in my life so far.
This kind of worried me, but I didn't think much of it and just went on with my normal boring life. Today, Kelsey & I had a chance to spend a lot of time together. On the way home from church, I began thinking over my struggle. I mentioned it briefly, and asked a few questions about her opinion. Somehow, we got onto the topic of Kevin Lawyer. We talked about our personal experiences and how it still effects us today.
I don't know why, but it got me thinking about my struggle & how BIG our God is. He orchestrates every little thing into our lives to create a huge work of art, a masterpiece, that He is excited about showing us a little of everyday.
So many things have spoken encouragement into my life over the last few weeks, as if God was whispering to me, "it's okay, you can make it through another day". But I didn't even notice it.
I don't know why I'm still here, or what God is doing with me. I'm still battling with it. I'm still fighting to find answers & constantly questioning. I'm still unsure, and I still need to wrestle with some of my thoughts.
Ultimately, God has shown Himself a lot to me over the last few weeks, & I'm just now realizing it. I know He's going to do something huge with this. I don't what yet, but I need to just keep holding on to find out.
About 2 weeks ago, I was really struggling with something. It paralyzed me for about a week and a half, and then it just seemed to go away. There wasn't an actual resolution, and I'm still not on the same page with God. I haven't talked to Him much at all. All in all, there was no resolution to one of the biggest struggles i've had in my life so far.
This kind of worried me, but I didn't think much of it and just went on with my normal boring life. Today, Kelsey & I had a chance to spend a lot of time together. On the way home from church, I began thinking over my struggle. I mentioned it briefly, and asked a few questions about her opinion. Somehow, we got onto the topic of Kevin Lawyer. We talked about our personal experiences and how it still effects us today.
I don't know why, but it got me thinking about my struggle & how BIG our God is. He orchestrates every little thing into our lives to create a huge work of art, a masterpiece, that He is excited about showing us a little of everyday.
So many things have spoken encouragement into my life over the last few weeks, as if God was whispering to me, "it's okay, you can make it through another day". But I didn't even notice it.
I don't know why I'm still here, or what God is doing with me. I'm still battling with it. I'm still fighting to find answers & constantly questioning. I'm still unsure, and I still need to wrestle with some of my thoughts.
Ultimately, God has shown Himself a lot to me over the last few weeks, & I'm just now realizing it. I know He's going to do something huge with this. I don't what yet, but I need to just keep holding on to find out.
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
So..
I am currently obsessed with:
1. My new laptop
2. Roller Coaster Tycoon
3. Bees
4. Apple Sauce
The End.
1. My new laptop
2. Roller Coaster Tycoon
3. Bees
4. Apple Sauce
The End.
Monday, May 26, 2008
Blogspot!
So, I just got a blogspot! I wanted to wait until I got a laptop to get one so I don't have to sit in my freezing cold basement in order to pour my heart out in a blog everyday. I guess I'm pretty excited about it. & I'll have to figure it out. which shouldn't be too hard!
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