True Joy

God has truly changed my heart. I don't like the "camp high" that lasts for a few days and fades away. God has shown me through an inevitable yet painful breakdown that He is in control, and can take even the most broken and turn it into beauty for Him. While battling through anxiety and depression, I know God is still on His throne and never left. He has given me permanent joy that last THROUGH the struggles. A while back in freshman year, Kelsey presented the idea to me that We can truly experience joy even while we're depressed. At first, my thought was "are you kidding?" but thinking over it I found it to be true. Going through depression now, the thought was brought back up to my attention. And yesterday, I experienced its true meaning. Our permanent lasting joy and hope is through Him. He gives us the joy of freedom and victory through painful struggles so that everything brings glory to Him in His perfect plan. The depression may be out of my physical control right now, but I have that lasting joy through it all. God has created everything perfect in its timing and although we want the pain to be gone, He has a perfect plan FOR that pain.

He's also reminded me to be authentic with my pain to my brothers and sisters in Christ. If a part of the body is hurting, it needs to let the rest of the body know in order for the pain to not cause destruction and instead, heal. He provided me with sisters that walked into the junk of my life to help lead me back on the right path to Him. If I'm authentic with my struggles, healing can inevitably come quicker. It's not going to be easy, and I'm not going to like it, but God never called us to a pain-free life.


"If it's in pain that Your Name is made great let it be, Lord let it be."