Hope in Darkness

I had an "episode" tonight. We went to six flags today and it was a lot of fun, and while we were driving home I felt an overwhelming sense of lonliness. As soon as I came home i made my way up to my room and laid on my bed for a second. And within a second, my entire body had completely drained of all the energy I had during the previous second. After that, i couldn't move. I couldn't sit up, I couldn't talk so I couldn't call anyone, I could barely move my hands at all. I was so frustrated that depression was effecting my body so intensly. I wanted to go to wendy's because I hadn't eaten in hours, but I wasn't hungry and didn't have the will to move. I managed to type a couple of texts, but couldn't close my phone. Normally, I would be able to snap myself out of it sometime, but it wasn't working. I was praying for strength to get me through this time. After about 15 minutes, I got the strength to sit up and read one of the Psalms, and then fell back down. Then after another 5 minutes or so, I sat up because I knew mom would be coming home soon. As I sat up, I was looking at my "encouragement door" which is covered in verses and quotes. I began quietly singing "Salvation is Here". I know my God made a way for me. Salvation is here and He lives in me. It's gonna be alright. This gave me the strength to stand up, and I continued singing; louder each time. I was driving to Wendy's to get something to eat and on the way over I didn't listen to the radio, I just prayed and sang to God. I sang "Shout Unto God". The enemy has been defeated, death couldn't hold you down, we're gonna lift our voice in victory. On the way home from Wendy's, i turned on 91.9 for some reason. (i don't usually listen to this station). The song that came on was "Praise You In This Storm". It couldn't have come at a better time. I know God's going to take the victory through this trial, and I need to continue to depend on Him for strength and hope. I'm in love with a Savior who conquered the greatest thing on Earth; death. And all for me.

"Not only so, but we rejoice in our sufferings because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope." - Romans 5: 3-4